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US politician makes an election speech: "We need change in our health
system ... we need change in our schools... we need change in our
prisons ...
Opposition politician interrupts him: " Yea, yea, the last guy I've seen
who needed so much change was on the street corner. " (... spare change
for coffee )

Guy met a girl in the bar, time to close and he proposes - "honey, let's
go to my place now." She says "no", but he insists - " if you go to my
place tonight I'll give you a million dollars.". She thinks, wow, he is
a millionare and agrees, then he takes a quater (25 cents) and puts it on
the table. She is very upset - "Who do you think I am?". He answers -
"honey, we've already established who you are, now we are just haggling
about the price."