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25 августа 2006

Всякая всячина

Тексты, не попавшие ни в основные, ни в читательские, ни в повторные. Собираются и хранятся исключительно в научных целях. В этот раздел вы заходите на свой страх и риск. мы вас предупредили!

Меняется каждый час по результатам голосования
Тут недавно писали, в одной конторе начальство постановило шоб
сотрудники общались культурно, без матюков, etc, etc.
Manual по культурному общению уже давно используется в нашем оффисе:

Dear Employees:
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of
normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from
some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will be no
longer tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being
able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with
co-workers. Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been
provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in
an effective manner.

1) TRY SAYING:
I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the fuck you're doing.

2) TRY SAYING:
She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting bitch.

3) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?

4) TRY SAYING:
I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No fuckin way.

5) TRY SAYING:
Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be shitting me!

6) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a shit.

7) TRY SAYING:
I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my fuckin problem.

8) TRY SAYING:
That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the fuck?

9) TRY SAYING:
I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This shit won't work .

10) TRY SAYING:
I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?

11) TRY SAYING:
He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his ass.

12) TRY SAYING:
Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat shit and die.

13) TRY SAYING:
So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ass.

14) TRY SAYING:
I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: Fuck it, I'm on salary.

15) TRY SAYING:
I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your ass.

16) TRY SAYING:
I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.

17) TRY SAYING:
You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the hell died and made you boss?

18 ) TRY SAYING:
He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a prick.

Thank You,
Human Resources

Вчера<< 25 августа >>Завтра
Самый смешной анекдот за 15.11:
Когда феминистки возмутились, что в банях сохраняется гендерное разделение, мужики обрадовались, но когда увидели феминисток, потребовали оставить все как есть.
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